sexta-feira, novembro 24, 2006

Macaco de Rabo Cortado - Historia #0

Era uma vez um macaco mariola, que andava de bata e sacola, como se fosse para a escola. Mas não ia. Era tudo a fingir.
Os rapazes, quando o viam passar, troçavam dele e gritavam:
- Macaco escondido com o rabo de fora... Macaco escondido com o rabo de fora...
Pois era. Realmente o rabo sobrava de bata e, muito comprido e retorcido, corria atrás do macaco para onde quer que e fosse.
Então o macaco entrou numa barbearia e pediu ao barbeiro que lhe cortasse o rabo. O barbeiro afio a navalha e zut! – rabo para um lado, macaco para o outro.
A operação deve ter doído, mas o macaco, que tinha tanto de vaidoso como de corajoso, não se importou. E de sacola e bata, muito empertigado, veio para a rua mostrar-se nos seus novos preparados.
Estavam uns homens à conversa, numa esquina. Quando o viram passar, um deles comentou:
- Macaco sem rabo é como um burro sem orelhas. Fica mais feio e fica mais minguado. Coitado!
O macaco ouviu-o, sentiu-se e correu ao barbeiro para lhe desenvolvesse o rabo. Talvez ainda pudesse ser cosido ou colado...
- Olha o macaco toleirão à procura do rabo. Que queria que eu lhe fizesse? Deitei-o fora e a camioneta do lixo levou-o – disse-lhe o barbeiro.
Aí o macaco zangou-se. E quando uma pessoa ou um macaco se zanga e perde a cabeça, faz disparates. Sem mais nem menos, agarrou numa das navalhas do barbeiro e disse:
- Nesse caso, levo-lhe a navalha com que me cortou o rabo.
E abalou.
Ia ele por uma rua, quando passou perto de uma peixeira.
- Que linda navalha traz o menino na mão- disse a peixeira.- O meu carinha de anjo não me quer dar a navalhita, para eu amanhar o meu peixe?
O macaco ficou todo derretido com as falas da peixeira e, já se vê, deu-lhe a navalha.
De mãos a abanar é que sabe bem passear...
Mas, passado tempo, veio-lhe a vontade de chamar outra vez sua á navalha e voltou atrás, à procura da peixeira.
- Olha o macaco paspalhão a perguntar pela navalha... Fique sabendo que não prestava para nada. Mal lhe peguei, para amanhar umas sardinhas, partiu-se – disse-lhe a peixeira.
Aí o macaco zangou-se. Zangou-se e fez outro disparate. Pegou numa canastra de sardinhas e abalou, dizendo:
- Nesse caso, levo-lhe as sardinhas com que me estragou a navalha.
Estava um padeiro à porta da padaria, quando o macaco passou com a canastra de sardinhas à cabeça.
- Psst, ó cavalheiro – chamou o homem, encostado á porta da padaria. – Um senhor tão distinto com sardinhas à cabeça não parece bem. Deixe-as cá ficar comigo, que tenho onde as guardá-las.
O macaco ficou sensibilizado com estas falas do padeiro, e, já se vê, deu-lhe as sardinhas.
Pois é. De mãos a abanar é que sabe bem passear...
Mas, passado um tempo, veio-lhe a vontade de chamar outra vez suas às sardinhas e voltou atrás, à procura do padeiro.
- Olha o macaco trapalhão a perguntar pelas sardinhas... Comias em cima do pão e estavam bem gostosas, fique sabendo- disse-lhe o padeiro.
Aí o macaco zangou-se. Zangou-se e fez outro disparate. Pegou num saco de farinha e atirou-o para os ombros, dizendo:
- Nesse caso, levo-lhe um saco de farinha com que fabrica o pão para comer as sardinhas.
E fugiu.
Estava uma senhora professora à janela da escola, a ver quem passava, enquanto as alunas brincavam no recreio. Passou o macaco com o saco às costas.
- Como ele vai carregado, o pobrezinho – disse a professora.
O macaco ficou comovido com estas falas da professora e, já se vê, deu-lhe o saco de farinha.
Pois é. De mãos a abanar é que sabe bem passear...
Mas, passado tempo, veio-lhe a vontade de chamar outra vez seu ao saco de farinha e voltou atrás, à procura da professora.
- Olha o malcriadão do macaco a exigir o que ainda há bocado nos deu, sem que ninguém lhe pedisse. Da farinha amassámos bolos e as minhas meninas comeram-nos todos – disse a senhora professora.
Aí o macaco zangou-se. Zangou-se e fez outro disparate. Agarrou numa menina e fugiu com ela, dizendo:
- Nesse caso, levo-lhe uma menina que comeu os bolos da minha farinha.
Mas a menina, ao colo do macaco, não parava de chorar.
- Quero a minha mãe. Quero a minha mãe, dizia a menina.
O macaco condoeu-se e, já se vê, levou-a a casa da mãe, que lhe agradeceu muito o encargo. Até a menina, depois de se assoar e limpar os olhos, lhe fez uma festinha de amizade.
Pois é. De mãos a abanar é que sabe bem passear...
Mas, passado tempo, começou a sentir saudades da menina e voltou atrás, a saber dela.
- Querem lá ver o maganão do macaco que não pára de rondar-me a casa- disse-lhe a mãe da menina. – A minha filha está a ajudar-me a lavar a roupa, que eu estou a estender, e se ainda quer saber mais vou chamar o meu marido, que anda na horta, e já lhe trata da saúde.
Aí o macaco zangou-se. Zangou-se e fez outro disparate. Agarrou numa camisa que estava estendida e abalou com ela, dizendo:
- Nesse caso, levo-lhe uma camisa fina lavada pela menina.
Estava um velho violeiro a trabalhar à porta da oficina, quando o macaco por ele passou, a correr.
- Senhor camiseiro, ò senhor camiseiro, deixe-me ver a sua mercadoria – disse-lhe o violeiro.
O macaco passou e aproximou-se do velhote, que vestia uma camisa muito estafada e cosipada.
- Parece de bom pano – disse o violeiro. – Só tenho pena que a minha bolsa não chegue a semelhante luxo. Afinal uma vida de trabalho não dá direito a camisa fina.
O macaco ficou impressionado com as falas do velhote e, já se vê, deu-lhe a camisa.
Pois é. De mãos a abanar é que sabe bem passear...
Mas, passado tempo, e como de costume, arrependeu-se e voltou atrás, á procura do violeiro.
- Olha o aldrabão do macaco que não me deixa em paz. A camisa não valia nem o trabalho de vesti-la. Era tão fina, que se rasgou toda, quando a pus. E se continua aí especado ainda lhe atiro com esta viola à cabeça – gritou-lhe o violeiro.
O macaco, isto ouvindo, arrancou a viola das mãos do velho e disse:
- Nesse caso, antes que a estrague na minha cabeça, levo-a eu inteira, que melhor me serve inteira do que partida.
E fugiu com a viola ao ombro.
- Agarra que é ladrão! – gritou o violeiro, correndo atrás dele.
O macaco trepou a uma árvore, saltou para uma varanda, subiu a um telhado e lá de cima espreitou cá para baixo.

Estava um grande ajuntamento na rua. Era o violeiro, o pai e a mãe da menina, a professora, o padeiro, a peixeira, o barbeiro e muita rapaziada. Todos apontavam para ele, cantando e troçando:
- Olha o macaco mariola
que de rabo fez navalha
da navalha fez sardinha
da sardinha fez farinha
da farinha fez menina
da menina fez camisa
da camisa fez viola
e agora deu à sola
e agora deu á sola.
O macaco no telhado repimpado pegou na viola e respondeu-lhes:
- Pois se agora dei á sola
Pois se agora vos fugi
É que a mim nimguém me enrola
E de mim ninguém se ri.
Timglintim, tinglintim.
Timglintim, timglintim.
Cá em baixo, continuava a surriada. Riam-se e cantavam para ele:
- Olha o macaco mariola,
estarola e gabarola
com pancada na cachola,
dá e tira, mata e esfola,
ora parte, ora cola,
ora mete para a sacola...
Dá a esmola, tira a esmola,
mariola, mariola
quem te meta na gaiola,
quem te meta na gaiola.
Mas o macaco no telhado respondia ao desafio:
- Não me metem na gaiola
que de mim ninguém se ri.
A tocar nesta viola,
tinglintim, tinglintim,
a dançar com castanholas
vou daqui para Madrid.
Sou macaco mariola
e rei do charivari,
porque a mim ninguém me enrola
e a tocar nesta viola
tinglintim, tinglintim
não tenham pena de mim.
Tinglintim, tinglintim
não tenham pena de mim,
tinglintim, tinglintim
não tenham pena de mim...
Foi-se embora o macaco...
Conto retirado de Histórias Portuguesas Contadas de Novo / Autor:António Torrado / Ilustrador: Maria João Lopes / Editora Civilização

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